April is Autism Awareness Month

April is Autism Awareness month and if you are reading our blog you probably know that our son has Autism. It has been a while since we have posted an update on how he is doing. He has been going to school for 9 months now. He goes 5 days a week for 6 hours a day. His entire time at school he spends with one of his three exceptional therapists--Melanie, Cassie, and Cory.

We have seen many improvements over the last nine months. He can understand and follow simple directions like sit down please, take your shoes off, or let's take a shower. He asks for things like "eat please" or "drink please". He makes a great deal of eye contact now when we are talking to him and will look at us when we call his name (most of the time). These things may sound insignificant for a 3 1/2 year old to do, but they are huge for us. Simple things like him putting 3 words together, "more drink please" bring us great joy, the same joy that parents of typical kids (thats the term we use in the Autism community) experience when their children ride a bike or do something else for the first time. It's all relative and we are beginning to understand and accept this.

We tend to sometimes get focused on "what Fisher can or can't do" as compared to typical kids. But have realized the joy that we find in "what Fisher does" with no comparisons to others. He loves to eat popcorn(and not share it), he loves to give kisses to Mom and Dad when we ask for them, he loves dinosaurs, horses, snakes, trains, hot wheels and most toy animals. He has favorite tv shows--the backyardigans, dinosaur planet, and a really cheap horse DVD. He knows where the toy aisles are in certain stores. He loves to ride in the car. He loves to cuddle with mom. He loves to play in the backyard. He has the climbing ability, balance, and fearlessness of a mountain goat. He is strong as an Ox. He can read words like elephant, camel, rhinocerous, baby, and more.

Some people with ASD like Temple Grandin describe their brains as thinking in pictures instead of words. I think this is how Fisher thinks, it's almost as if a picture show is playing in his head because of the stimuli around him and sometimes we understand what that is and sometimes we don't. Sometimes he let's us inside his head, but mostly he doesn't (not in ways we understand).

We tend to answer the question, "How's Fisher doing?" with a "good". And he is doing good. The joy we feel because of him is the same as parents of typical children feel. But we rarely bring up the challenges we are faced with everyday or the things Fisher doesn't do. He's not potty trained, not even close. He doesn't play with others, rarely even his parents. He doesn't count to ten or say his ABC's. He doesn't sleep in his room. He rarely sleeps through the night. We can't let him out of our sight for any amount of time. He hits. He bites. He pinches. His mom can't do anything alone while he is home. His dad wishes he would bother him like that. He doesn't understand directions unless we (and his therapists) have worked on them over and over, sometimes for months.

We don't tell many people about how hard it actually is, or tell them the whole story. We don't expect people to fully understand what we go through everyday. We are thankful for our friends and family.

So don't be afraid to ask either of us questions about Fisher. If you want to know more than "how he is doing", then ask us specifically. If you want to educate yourself or others about Autism I will list some links that we have found helpful.

A ten minute talk from someone with ASD

Autism Society of America

A wonderful book about a family with an Autistic son

A short video on the signs of Autism

Great weekly articles from a mother with a son with Autism

A blog by the Author of the above mentioned book

There are always more resources, some good, some bad, but these are some of the ones we find useful.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Feel free to share it. If you take one thing away from this, I would say take this...next time you are out in public and you see a parent struggling with a child you think is behaving badly or has a lack of discipline, don't be so quick to judge the child or the parents. Remember, 1 in 110 children are now born with Autism, and it affects every one of them differently.